10th January: Confused

‘It really is quite simple,’ Dave said.

‘No, I get what you’re saying, I just don’t understand why,’ replied Hep-B-2-9. Dave stared, considering the reptilian alien before him.

‘You’re confused about the why?’ he asked.

‘It simply doesn’t make any sense. How does the paper have any effect on the rock?’

‘Well it,’ Dave paused, ‘I suppose it kind of covers the rock,’ He made a motion with his hands, ‘Maybe it blinds it?’ Dave trailed off, feeling confused himself.

‘But, human-Dave, rocks do not have eyes.’

‘Oh, no. No. Not literal eyes.’ Dave said, shaking his head, ‘It’s a thing called personification, where you give an object human, er, traits.’ He trailed off, fidgeting under Hep-B-2-9’s five eyes.

‘Human-Dave.’ Hep-B-2-9 finally said.

‘Yes?’ Asked Dave, hopefully.

‘I have eyes.’

‘This isn’t working.’

‘My eyes are fully functional under human understanding of eyes.’

‘That’s not what I meant.’

What had been a simple conversation about Earth games had suddenly taken a strange twist.

‘Human-Dave, am I a rock?’

Dave had no idea how it had happened.


‘Yes Hep-B?’

‘Would you like to play  rock-beating-scissors-with-paper?’

‘It’s just called rock, paper, scissors.’

‘Oh. Would you like to play?’

‘Yeah, alright.’

10th January: Confused

Persephone: Introduction to the Gods

The Greek myth is a tragedy. Poor Persephone, trapped in the underworld with a cruel god, tricked into eating pomegranate seeds, hidden away from her family, only allowed out for half the year. Poor Persephone. What a tragedy.

Shame it’s wrong.

Hades didn’t know what hit him when he first met Persephone. He had a funny feeling it might have been her mallet though. A battle field is not the place you expect to meet your true love. And you certainly don’t expect to be getting seriously maimed by them. Luckily though, Hades is a god, unluckily, so is she.

Before our story can begin, you need to know some things about the Gods. Things are not always as they seem to us mortals. There are three realms; the sky, the earth and sea, and the underworld.

There were three brothers, and each brother was given a realm. Zeus, the oldest was given the Sky, and he was told, guard it well and lead the others to victory. Poseidon was given the Sea and told, use it well for it shall help you heal the earth. Hades the youngest was given the underworld, he was taunted by his brothers and he believed that he had been put out of the way, given the scraps off the table.

But their father took him aside and told him, “Son, the underworld is the most important realm. One day even your brothers shall pass through these gates. But you son, you will be here till time itself runs out. It will be lonely for you, but I know that you are strong and brave and you can withstand the tests and trials that will be before you. Maybe one day you will even make this place your home. But for now it is your realm and it will be under your protection.”

And so the brothers split up and began to rule their lands. Zeus married a Goddess named Hera and began to cement his legacy as leader of the Gods. He ruled firm and had no leeway, even for his own family. Other Gods came to rest upon the top of Mount Olympus, where Zeus had made a fine palace for himself.

Poseidon took to the seas and filled it with all manner of creature. He made himself a palace under the water where he looked after each citizen with a fair hand. He saw to it that rain fell and the Earth grew bountiful.  Eventually, he too fell in love and married a goddess called Amphitrite.

Hades spent a long time in the Underworld. More time alone than either of his brothers. He rearranged the world as he saw fit, and made it not a beacon of despair but a refuge for souls. They arrived from the moment he took his mantle and did not stop. Always busy with work Hades soon forgot about his father’s comments and indeed almost forgot about his brothers. Finally though, the work became too much and he created subject to help him in his duties. These creatures helped guide spirits to the afterlife but for their efforts they were feared and called evil spirits.

So Hades divided his work force. He created formless, faceless creatures to take on a comforting aspect to those about to die, and called them Reapers. Then he took his evil spirits and gave them duties in hell, where they would comfort the innocent and punish the wicked.

Persephone: Introduction to the Gods